Self Improvement Archives - The Kando Code

Life Lessons from Escape Rooms

You and your friends are locked in a small, dark room. If you decipher the words, numbers, pictures and hidden clues randomly scattered around the place, you can escape. A mysterious voice announces you have 60 minutes. A frenzied excitement kicks in as you raid the room, finding the clues that if 100% solved, will open the door and you win!

Escape rooms are theatrical games that, in the past 10 years, have become effective team-building exercises, as well as a fun past-time among friends. They have taken off around the world and will likely pick up from where they left once they are able to reopen their doors, (post-pandemic permitting). Their growth has been explosive: recent data tells us there are over 3,000 escape games in Europe and around 14,000 worldwide.

Part of their success is thanks to the fact they are suitable for people of all ages and genders. They also give the unique opportunity to practice teamwork and problem-solving, as well as being an immersive and fun experience.

But aside from their surface identity as a cleverly constructed past-time, Escape rooms have the ability to teach us some valuable life lessons! Here are the top 10:

1. Start from a position of ignorance

At work or in our personal lives, our unconscious biases often get the better of us. We tend to cut to the chase, listen little and skip some potentially very important, game-changing details along the way. When you walk into the escape room for the first time, you understand you have had no way of learning anything about the situation in front of you beforehand. This teaches you to take a fresh, “from scratch” approach to what you are looking at, reading, listening to, or simply taking in your surroundings, which allows you to see the big picture and make calculated decisions rather than rash ones.

2. Team work

We always talk about team play, right? But how often can you say you have successfully achieved something thanks to a real, collective collaboration within a group? Escape rooms are never a one-player game. Without A, B, C and D, you would never have won: A did the maths, B had uncanny intuition, C kept us together and thinking straight and D asked the right questions. The game teaches us that no one person can be A, B, C and D and that we should therefore not try to get through things alone. And don’t let others try to get through things alone either. You are a piece of a puzzle that is needed. Especially during the toughest moments people should use each other’s skills.

3. Sharp Eyes

The game also teaches us to keep our eyes sharp open for new clues. This is because we are in “full focus mode” for the hour. We are alert and searching. It is thanks to this approach that we are able to quickly find, solve and jump for joy, before moving to the next intrinsic clue. What if we applied that approach to everyday life?! Keep our eyes sharp open for new opportunities that otherwise you may miss out on, whether those are work, friend, family or travel related.

4. Focus and Resilience

Escape rooms are cleverly designed to boggle our brains. Many of the clues are highly complex and require focus, time and patience (unless you simply get lucky!). By applying these three essential skills we learn to be resilient and relentlessly keep on at the challenge at hand until we finally crack it! Oftentimes in life, the challenge is a hard one to solve, leading us to get angry with it or give up. Perhaps an extra lesson here is to first accept the situation for what it is and then take an objective, determined and optimistic approach to overcome it.

5. Embrace our fears of failure

A winner’s approach to solving an Escape room is often through trial and error. In other words, keep trying potential solutions until they get it right. In real life, however, we do not give ourselves the same bandwidth. We are hard on ourselves and have somehow wrongfully learned that failure is bad. It is frustrating, but it is not bad. Failure must often necessarily happen before achieving success, don’t you think? Otherwise we would all go about life reading the theory on things that have already been done and then applying that theory to real life. How boring. And where’s the innovation?

6. Leave it. Come back later

You are likely to find some clues in Escape rooms too early on, meaning you cannot solve them because they require more information, more pieces to the puzzle that you have yet to find. In this scenario, without pointlessly racking your brains to solve immediately, the right thing to do is to leave it be for the moment, park it, and come back later when you have the 360°. Again, this kind of situation can occur in real life, where we may not be able something, no matter how hard we try. Perhaps something is missing, such as knowledge, experience, a tool, an essential piece of information. So we should do like we do in the game: If something is not working, leave it for a while and come back later with fresh eyes or the missing puzzle piece.

7. If you need help, ask for it

The chance to ask for help a few times during the hour plays an integral part of the game. It is perfectly normal to feel stuck. If you never feel stuck, it likely means that it is too easy and therefore, again, boring. Similar to fear of failure itself, we seem to have picked up somewhere that asking for help is a sign of weakness or incompetence, however the wisest of us know that we should ask for help where we are missing knowledge. That is how we learn.

8. Know your strengths

This is linked to teamwork. Once you’ve played an escape room a few times, you will have got to know who you are within the group, what you are good at and consequently what you offer to the table, at least within the context of the game. What role do you play in real life? Are you a leader? A Questioner or an Upholder? Are you the quiet one who never speaks until you pop up with the solution? Perhaps the game itself has given you an insight to discovering your hidden talent for deep analysis? In any case, self-awareness around your strengths, your ability to learn and what your future potential strengths could be, all play a very important role in self-improvement.

9. Know your kicks

Some Escape rooms are more fun for some than for others, depending on what you personally find fun. A murder mystery? A prison escape? Saving someone? Pure enigma? By the time you’ve done a few, you will know what you enjoy over all and in turn what motivates you the most. The moral of this story is that what you enjoy the most is the thing that keeps you coming back for more. Even when times are tough, the passion you keep for that thing, fuels you and keeps your momentum going. Perhaps your kick is not the type of game you are playing, but rather overcoming a challenge, being with the people you like the most, or the learning experience.

10. Have fun

Of course we cannot forget one of the greatest Escape room lessons, for any journey that you decide to take, remember to have fun along the way!

Tequila Shots

Self Improvement

In my world, to take a Tequila Shot is something you do that psychs you up to the point where you say “yeah! I’m ready for anything! Bring it on!”

You may feel differently about real Tequila, but it is rather common that if you and your friends do have a shot, there is an unsaid ritual: Boom. Done. It was fast, really bad, but somehow you feel like you’ve already achieved something. High-five! And that’s why I’ve decided to call my moment of “psych-up”, Tequila Shots. And get this: real Tequila has nothing to do with it (fortunately).

So a Tequila Shot, figuratively speaking, is that prep-moment, a mantra or ritual that works for you, usually done before a competition, an important speech, a difficult task, and so on. You mentally prepare yourself for it and consequently your self-conviction tells you will win or succeed. Very motivating indeed.

Some Examples

Prior to the big moment, whatever it might be, commonly known psych-up moments are intense breathing, a dance, talking to yourself in the mirror, jumping up & down, a cold shower and singing a song. Remember, it’s whatever gives you that “I’m ready! Bring it on” feeling. One of the most powerful, Group Shots is the Haka, which, aside from being a powerful 200-year old traditional tribal-war dance, is constantly and flawlessly performed prior to All Blacks (New Zealand) rugby matches. In rugby, the Haka never fails to psych up the whole team, as well as psych out the opposition!

Here’s my Tequila Shot

Power Walking. But not real, 80’s-style leg-warmers almost running Power Walking. My type of power walking translates literally as “walking with power” meaning, I start to walk (often before and after going for a run) and my posture is, well, “powerful”: Shoulders back, head up, proud, and a spring in my step. Usually I do it to music. This way of walking doesn’t have to be fast nor very technical, but in order for it to work, you have to feel the power behind your intent and you don’t have to care about being looked at. The end result has not only propelled you beyond your own expectations, it is likely to also help build your reliance for your future challenges.

What’s your Tequila Shot?

How to become SUPERMAN(ager)

Career Growth, People Management, Self Improvement

In the absence of supernatural alien powers, us common mortal managers are constantly rattling our brains about how to become a super-manager.

Let’s start with why we long to become great managers. Apart from that satisfying sense of achievement you get from having developed strong talents over time in your team, you may have also had a great manager yourself. So it’s about giving back. Or, on the contrary, like some parents, you want to give your springs everything you were not given yourself.

Whether you are new to people management or have a good few years experience, if you are reading this you are likely to have the basics; those regular one-on-ones with your team members. But let’s face it: No-one is just a people manager anymore. We all have our roles and responsibilities, where “manage a team” is simply an “on top” part of our job description. And you are a good people manager. But it’s like kryptonite is stopping you in your ways..

So what will accelerate your growth as a people manager? What will strengthen your management skills? What’s missing? Use the below 6 tips as a checklist that I hope will inspire you to reveal your hidden “S” and fly above and beyond your city’s limits!

1. Build the relationship. Earn the trust

Make sure you develop a healthy relationship with your team members. This fundamentally includes earning their trust. Reveal the real you and be yourself. Be honest and focus on building a strong, long-term connection. This means having (also) informal conversations, asking for their opinion, following through with their ideas and supporting them.

2. Listen + coach

A close cousin of the above, but deserves a point all to itself. Listen and coach, in that order. Listening sounds easy, but as you are more experienced than the person reporting to you, it is very tempting to jump in with your advice as soon as you think you have understood the issue. Often, however, the first thing they say is not their real challenge. Show you care, by diving deeper and deeper into what your report is saying, and make sure they do most of the talking.

Start to coach them on the topic only when you are sure you have the full picture. You may even find that they get there on their own, purely thanks to you asking the right questions. That’s a good coach. One effective way to start a conversation where you are an active listener, is to begin with an observation on how you see them today.

3. Empower + Exploit

Empowerment is about giving your team members the space and the tools to take ownership of a project or a task. Your role here is to set them up for success, give them the advice they need and do not micromanage them. They may need to check in with you along the way (if they ask, you know you’ve got points 1 and 2 right). A very effective way of empowering a talent in your team is to ramp them up through succession planning towards your role. Once your team member has achieved something great, make sure you go public with it! Positively exploit the achievement and celebrate their results; drop an email to top management (or everyone) on what they did and how they did it.

4. Collect the facts and make a dead-set decision

When it comes to decision making, your team members are often fundamental to helping you reach the right conclusion. This 4th point requires you to have conquered all 3 of the above ones: (1) Your strong relationship will ensure that your team members want to help you; (2) Be at the top of your game with your listening skills, so that you dive as deep as possible into the data and the facts your team will share with you; (3) Once your decision has been made, ensure you recognize your team for their support. Then the most important part, once you have all you need, do not waver on your decision.

5. Face your demons and elephants

It’s hard being a people manager. Then it gets harder when you realize you need to solve a tricky problem with someone in your team. The issue may be about general low performance or one big mistake some has made, or it may be about a bad attitude. In any case, do not delay these cases for longer than a week. Problems need to be faced together with you, front-on and while they are still fresh. Pluck-up your super-courage and have those difficult conversations.

6. Hope you get a tough cookie

Last but definitely not least, this one will help you become a super-manager the hardest, but potentially the most effective way. By “tough cookie” I mean someone who, for one reason or another, is particularly difficult to manage. They may not believe you are good enough to be their manager, they may have a conflictual personality or they may just not like you. If you have a tough cookie, you know it 🙂 They may seem like they want to make your life difficult, you may even see each other as the enemy. This team member is constantly challenging you, making you look bad in front of the others, making you feel you are not doing a good job as their manager, right? Why can’t they just be nice, kind and helpful like the others?

Do not see them as the enemy, because like it or not, these individuals are your key to developing stronger, more mature management skills. Like in sport, if it’s making you sweat, it’s working. These people will stretch you as a manager, as you stretch them in their developmental path. By constantly challenging you, they will force you to look around corners, obsess about high standards, reason, experiment, search alternative solutions. They will push you to become greater than what you expected. You just have to recognize and embrace the situation. In their defense, they are probably just ambitious and don’t want to be set back.

Don’t fall into the trap of being negatively provoked, but take a moment to assess what is the best way to react, maturely as the super-manager you are.

Finally Superman-ager, Leadership is about leading, and leading by example. And above all, it’s more about giving than receiving, because if your focus is on giving (listening, building on their growth, developing their skills, caring, etc.) then it is likely you will receive a great deal more, as a consequence.

Building an Extra Mile culture

Career Growth, Self Improvement

Here’s the €1,000,000 question: How can our employees grow? The question is so dear to our hearts because if they do not grow, it is one of the primary reasons why companies lose or risk losing their top talents, as well as limiting business and company progression.

Employee growth to its full potential is not going to happen by just doing their day-by-day jobs. It needs to be planned. Objectively. If managers want to be deliberate about developing their resources (which they should), they need to identify the elements that they can use to guide them in the right direction. Here are some ways in which companies can set the stage for a healthy career path:

Performance Evaluations
Full, documented job definitions and descriptions
SMART objectives
Internal Moves
International assignments
Executive MBA
Extra projects
Succession planning
Going the Extra Mile

While points 1-8 are relatively common among organizations’ talent development and promotion plans, the impact of point 9, Going the Extra Mile is generally underestimated or even unknown.

What does going the Extra Mile mean?

It means going above and beyond what is expected of one’s role. Generally speaking, those who go there love the company they work for, aim for continuous improvement, are fully engaged and aligned to the company goals and are a great culture fit. Here are some examples of an employee who has gone that extra mile:

Has received an award
Is an ambassador of some sort for the company
Has received recognition in a company event
Has made successful employee referrals
Has made efforts within the community representing the company
Is someone’s mentor or buddy
Volunteers to present or take training sessions
Is recognized as an exceptional People Manager (encouraging their top talents to move internally to other teams to enable further growth)
Has received unsolicited, positive feedback from colleagues and/or customers
Has been recognized for their frugality
Is mirroring some of their manager’s job
Is a solid coach for people outside their team or company

In a nutshell, those who go the Extra Mile are leading by example, and that, in itself is a masterful mechanism to recognize they are growing professionally.

For the many ways in which you can tell if your employees are developing and growing in their roles, it is important that these fit into the company’s culture and belief foundations. In order to recognize the Extra Mile as a threshold for career growth, it needs to be deeply embedded into the “Reasons to Promote” company manuscript.

5 reasons why companies should build the “Extra Mile” into their Reasons to Promote

Employer Brand – It makes for a healthy, modern, state-of-the-art company to work for
Company culture – developing a stronger internal identity
It supports company progression
It gives a temperature check on Engagement and Retention
It can contribute to Recruitment efforts (Employer brand and Employee Referrals)

Fundamentally, if employees are not being recognized for going the extra mile, why should they do it? It’s a win-win, where the employee benefits as (s)he is recognized as part of their growth plan and the company benefits from the employee delivering beyond expectations. 👍

Want to build your resilience? Learn from the Experts

Self Improvement

Are you currently struggling to stay positive, cool and on-top-of-things? The COVID-19 outbreak has struck us hard, and on many different levels: Some have lost their jobs, some people’s lives have been put “on-hold”, some have lost a loved one and some, for one reason or another, feel like they’ve hit rock bottom. Maybe even all of the above. And get this, it’s part of the New Normal!

Us humans have never experienced anything like this before (at least those of us born in the last 70 years :). If there is one thing I’ve learned from the lockdown experience is that I needed to develop my resilience, or “willpower”, so that I could actually stay positive, on-top-of-things and cool.

I was watching a nature documentary during the outbreak and was hugely inspired by the behaviour of the Red Imported Fire Ant (RIFA)! Never have I observed such a great role model to follow for resilience! The RIFA is an extraordinary specimen that is native to South America and they live in a variety of habitats, often in extremely hostile environments. They are insatiable hard workers; they even build rafts to save themselves when water is rising!

But the thing that impressed me so much, the thing that made me think us humans are sometimes way too focused on suffering and complaining about things, is how the RIFA reacts to their mound being destroyed. Before we go into that, note that it takes the average RIFA colony months or longer to fully build their mound, and it is one of their primary objectives in life. When another animal or adverse weather conditions come along and wipe out their entire, life-time’s work, they don’t react by putting their hands on their heads and saying “oh no! That’s so unfair, I can’t believe this is happening to me”. They observe the situation for a millisecond, understand it and know what they have to do. Start rebuilding.

What better a definition of Resilience than that! Disaster (or something near it) strikes; a few seconds to take it in, secure the area and boom! Let’s get to work and build an even better one guys! We should be finished in a few months time….